


I'm Here

by Lafaiette



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 04:40:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lafaiette/pseuds/Lafaiette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade is sure he’s hallucinating, because this happiness cannot be real and he’s just waiting for reality to kick in. Peter decides to intervene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Here

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic ever in English and it's Spideypool. Feels good man.  
> I apologize in advance for any typos or errors!

Wade knew it couldn’t possibly be real.

The soft touches, the kisses, the sweet glances, the occasional arguments, the laughs shared in front of the TV or during dinner… they were all a creation of his distorted mind, a cruel joke of his brain to drag him even further into sadness and despair.

  
He was sure the real Peter Parker, the real Spider-Man, was far away in another apartment, living another life, and the young man who greeted him every morning with a smile was just an hallucination, a mere illusion.

The little apartment he moved into was probably empty, abandoned since years and the furniture, the warm bed he and the fake Peter occupied at night were non-existent.

His voices - which had become even more pitiless and wicked - agreed with him.

[ _We should really stop doing this. It’s no good._ ]

< **Of course it’s not! Heck, I’m sure every time we kiss that _thing_  we’re just smooching**

**a mirror or a lamp. What if we put our tongue into some dangerous shit one of these days?** >

[ _I was talking about mental health! This illusion must end now, we are crazy enough!]_

< **Hah, who in their sane mind would believe that Wade Wilson is Peter Parker’s boyfriend anyway…?** >

The voices used to talk like this almost every day and Wade’s reply was always: “Just… just one more day, guys. I know it’s wrong, but isn’t that bad either, is it? Just one more day and then I will tell my brain to fuck off and let me see _reality_ again.”

But the “awakening” never happened and Wade, torn by pain and a strange feeling of _peace_ , continued to kiss what he thought was an hallucination. Even if he really was putting his scarred lips on a mirror, he didn’t care anymore.

He could feel another pair of lips kissing him in return, another body responding to his lingering hands; he admitted his brain was doing a damn good job at this whole “hallucination thing” and he couldn’t help himself.

The voices reprimanded him, but those soft brown eyes, the amused and sweet smiles and the so-desired affection ‘Peter’ gave him were too beautiful, too _important_ to him to let them go.

 

So, ignoring the boxes’ protests, Wade did anything he could to add days to days, months to months.

He gave his brain any excuse, any chance to make the hallucination last longer.   
When ‘Peter’ would try to ‘spicy’ their make out sessions a bit, Wade - yes, _Wade_ \- would refuse.

He knew his brain could recreate the illusion of talking, laughing and kissing, but sex? That was so much harder to do and in the end he would have snapped out of it, the hallucination and all its beautiful and _perfect_ implications forever gone.

So he refused, using his skin and scars and face as an excuse.

 

“You know I don’t mind them.” ‘Peter’ told him one night while they were kissing and touching each other on the couch. He was panting, sweat all over the forehead and the chest, but his green boxers - that Wade wouldn’t, _couldn’t_ take off - were still on.

“ _I_ do, baby boy.” Wade replied with a sad smile. It was partially true, he still hated his scars and face, but since that boy was a creation of his mind he cared less about them. Still they were the perfect excuse and his brain always fell for it, making the hallucination reconsider the idea of sex.

Not that night though.

In fact ‘Peter’ sighed and said touching the scars and tumors with long fingers: “Well, you’re an idiot, Wilson.” He leaned in, kissing and biting the tender flesh of the neck. “Please, I just want to…”

When the younger man’s lips found a particular spot Wade gasped, hands automatically on the other’s hips, making them rock slightly.

“I know it’s hard…”

“You can bet it is.” Wade growled and the illusion huffed a laugh before continuing: “… but please, don’t worry. I never minded your scars and now…” the boy’s hands  found Wade’s cock and began to touch it with feather-like caresses.

Wade could feel the hot breath of the hallucination near his ear - wow, his mind was really good at that- and he shook his head.

“Listen, Spidey…” but he was cut off by the now hard grip on his manhood. “Shit!”

“…now I want to _feel_ you. Please, Wade.”

The hallucination was harder to convince that day, thought the merc with a frown.

[ _It’s your mind telling you to stop this nonsense._ ]

< **Sweet, cute and affectionate hallucination of Peter Parker gone in three, two, one…** >

And for a moment the mercenary could almost feel the cold air surrounding him, the emptiness in his arms. The idea of losing that little part of heaven his mind arranged so well made him go even crazier.

He pushed ‘Peter’ away and pulled on the pants of his costume, which he never took off.

“Sorry, Spidey.” Wade said with a sheepish smile hoping that the hallucination couldn’t see his anxiety and question it. “Not… not now, okay?”

< **Not _ever_ , since you are so determined to make this last forever…**>

‘Peter’ gaped at him, mouth open, eyes full of sad surprise and confusion. Wade tried desperately to change the topic, sure the illusion would shatter anytime soon.

“Why don’t we watch _American Horror Story_ instead? We may discover some new fetishes and…”

“Why?” the hallucination asked with soft brown and _sad_ eyes and Wade inwardly sighed.

Apparently his brain decided to make things harder for him that night.

“Well, fetishes are important in life, Spidey! You have to know what turns you on and what makes you puke. Personally I really _really_ despise vore - you know what that is? -, but light gore can be…”

“Wade. Stop.”

“Oh you don’t like gore…? Nevermind, not a big fan myself after all. No wait, I _do_ like cutting off limbs and watching the blood pour out, but I admit it can be a little tricky in bed…”

“Shut up!” ‘Peter’ screamed, instantly getting up, his eyes now full of sadness and rage and _more sadness_.

Wade couldn’t stand it, even if it was an illusion, so he tried to smile and calm down the boy with some crude jokes.

“No!” the hallucination stopped him before we could say anything else. “Let me talk! This is important and we need to… to…”. The illusion sighed and sat on the couch again, staring intently into the other man’s blue eyes.

“Why, Wade? Why are you so… so _tense_ around me? It’s like you’re _scared_ and I don’t understand it.”

He touched the mercenary’s face and Wade flinched feeling the warm and smooth skin on his cheek.

‘Peter’ noticed the reaction and became even sadder.

“You know I don’t care about your scars.” he said in a soft tone, sweet ( _non-existent! not real!_ Wade’s voices screamed) eyes lost into unreadable ones. “I told you countless times already. We… we have been dating for months and it has been beautiful, hasn’t it?”

“Yes.” Wade said with hoarse and resigned voice. The hallucination was silently crying now and was about to continue when Wade suddenly got up and said: “That’s why I’m so afraid. All of this _is_ beautiful - _you_ are beautiful - and I don’t want to - _I can’t_ \- lose it. Or at least… not now.”

He turned to ‘Peter’ who was still gaping at him and said with a terribly sad grin: “Indulge me a little more, Spidey! Before you can even say ‘web’ this will be all over and my brain will finally begin to work normally again.”

“What… what are you talking about?” the younger man babbled, too terrified and confused by Wade’s words to think rationally. “You want to… to end this?”

“ _I_ won’t do it, Spidey. I will leave the hard work to reality.”

“What…?”

The merc continued to smile sadly and suddenly the hallucination seemed to realize something, the young and sweet face full of mixed emotions.

Then ‘Peter’ looked away from the other man and settled his attention on the floor, like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Okay, then.” he said after some seconds of heavy silence. “I… I won’t rush things. I will give you all the time you need. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Wade.”

The mercenary instantly lighted up and replied: “Don’t worry about it, Spidey-butt. Maybe you’re right, I just need more time.”

‘Peter’ sniffed and added: “But please don’t say those things anymore.”

Wade laughed nervously and sat down on the couch again, patting the other’s knee.

“Sorry, Spidey. I tend to be a little… melodramatic, you know it. Just shut me up when I say some bullshit, okay?”

When they settled in front of the TV again, the voices returned:

  
[ _See? You did it again!_ ]

< **And now this whole mental trip will last until the next make out session when your brain**

**will try to end this once and for all…** >

“I won’t let it.” Wade muttered angrily. “Who cares if this is an hallucination! I have never been so happy in my all fucking life! I’d rather kiss Peter’s illusion than be forever miserable and alone!”

He felt the younger’s man warm body next to him, thanked his good old and damaged brain, but failed to see the determined and blazing look the boy gave him.

 

\- - -

 

Peter _was_ real - he was pretty sure of it. And he was also extremely angry at himself for not having realized sooner what Wade’s problem was.

Of course he had noticed the mercenary’s strange behavior every time he had tried to be more affectionate, wanting to be similar to those cute couple that can be seen in the streets of every city of every damn part of the world. But Wade had always looked at him with strange eyes, sometimes even trembling slightly.

Peter had assumed he was simply not used to relationships (not normal ones anyway) and he had patiently waited for a change, an improvement.

 

He knew the situation was a little strange and surprising. Just a year before the simple idea of being with Wade would have made him laugh and probably nauseated him, but over the time they got to know one another and he found himself enthralled by the man. The mercenary was crazy and most of the time didn’t have any sort of moral code, but he was a _good_ person. His life had been shitty and terrible and _sad_ , but he endured anyway and Peter admired that.

After some time he decided to trust the older man and revealed himself (“wow, wasn’t expecting you to be so hot, Spidey!”) . They had become friends and Peter hadn’t been able to lie to himself anymore.

Despite their differences, the merc made him happy. His stories, his laughter and the jokes that Peter could understand so well made the boy’s life richer and more beautiful.

Even his scarred skin became fascinating and Peter’s surprise had been huge when he had seen

Wade’s entire face from a very short distance, the merc’s head between his hands.

It was damaged beyond repair, that was true, but it was also extremely expressive and the ever changing soft flesh was incredible to observe. ‘Strange how someone who constantly kills and spreads death all around can be so _alive_.’ Peter had thought with a smile, noticing Wade’s personal surprise in front of his lack of disgust.

 

Peter had never felt happier in his life. Maybe their relationship wasn’t so surprising and weird after all.

After the initial shock, even some of the Avengers had agreed that they made a cute couple.

“You tranquilize him.” Captain America had told Peter one day, after a troublesome mission they had involved Wade into. “He’s… more _human_ when you are around, son. I know for sure Bruce and Tony don’t approve of this relationship, but I think you two may have a chance together.”

Even Logan had commented on them, smirking like a smartass: “I’ll be damned! Looks like Wilson found someone who can bear him.”

And the women of the Avengers, albeit a little uncertain, had seemed extremely excited by the news.

“It’s like a rendition of _The Beauty and the Beast_!” Jessica had sighed with dreamy eyes and _that_ had been the real surprise in the entire event.

 

The improvement never occurred.

Every time Peter had given into normal human sexual instincts - Wade was his boyfriend and that was what boyfriends did! - the merc had pried his hands off, suddenly shy and nervous despite his own evident arousal.

Peter had tried to reassure him about the scars, but every attempt at sex had ended badly, with stupid jokes and disappointment, their bodies never touching, flesh always covered.

 

Wade even refused to go out for dinner and meet Aunt May and Peter found this extremely annoying.

“Aww, baby boy, why would you want to be seen around with me?” Wade had half-joked one evening when Peter had asked him out. “You have a good reputation to maintain. I don’t want to run into your poor aunt and give her the scare of her life!”

“Maybe because you’re my boyfriend. And my aunt already knows about us and she _wants_ to meet you!” had been Peter’s angry reply, but they had ended up in front of the TV anyway, eating pizza and admiring Bea Arthur’s peaceful face on the screen.

 

Now, after that argument on the couch and Wade’s enigmatic words, Peter understood everything.

Wade apparently thought to be living in some kind of dream or hallucination and tried not to do any ‘elaborate’ activity that would have awakened his brain and shattered the ‘illusion’.

“We really need to work on his self-confidence problems.” Peter sighed with a grim face while arranging the photos he had been requested.

That idiot believed so strongly to be undeserving of Peter’s affection ( _love!_ a voce inside the young man’s head screamed) that all he could do to accept it was masking it as an illusion.

But Peter was not a mind joke and now that he finally understood what the problem was he could face it. He sat up, the photos forgotten, and began to devise a plan.

 

\- - -

 

“Baby boy! I’m home!” Wade sung closing loudly the door behind himself and removing his mask.

No answer.

< **Oh, he’s gone. Finally reality kicked in! >**

[ _About time._ ]

“No!” Wade almost screamed, entering in the living room. The furniture was still here, _everything_ was still here, the couch, the TV, the bookshelves full of photos and nerdy books… There was also one of Wade’s old katanas resting on the wall.

“The apartment is okay. I’m still hallucinating.” the merc said triumphantly, his eyes looking frantically for the younger man. “He will appear soon. I’m sure of it, _it must be_ …”

< **Come on, man, this is getting creepy! >**

[ _This has been one of our best hallucinations, it’s true. But they_ always _end and this one must end too._ ]

“Shut up!” Wade shouted and then Peter walked in, a wet dishcloth in his hand.

“Wade, I’m here.”

The merc turned towards him so quickly he almost stumbled.

“B-baby boy!” he exclaimed trying to look at ease. “Of course you’re _here_. Where… where else could you be?”

Peter noticed the wary, sad and at the same time extremely happy look the man was giving him, but he smiled as if everything was fine and replied: “Dinner is almost ready. Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

Wade paled and his eyes got even bigger.

“You… you made dinner?”

< **Tell me, how can an hallucination prepare dinner? Simple: it can’t! >**

[ _The kitchen is empty, Wade. There is nothing on the stove, no warm food on the table. Go in there and see for yourself._

_Let’s end this._ ]

“Shut up!” Wade muttered, but Peter heard him and went near him, touching his shoulder.

“What’s wrong, Wade?”

“Nothing! Nothing is wrong!” the merc tried to reassure him, but his smile was faltering and his face showed only despair.

Peter knew it was cruel, but also necessary, so he insisted: “What are your voices telling you, Wade? That I can’t cook?”

“Of course you can!”

< **No, he can’t, he doesn’t exist! >**

[ _This is an illusion. The real Peter Parker could never even stand you, let alone cook for you!_ ]

“I know!” Wade screamed clutching his head. Peter gently took his hands and used his super strength to remove them, ready to put his plan into action.

“Wade! Wade, listen to me!”

The other man’s eyes were unfocused, lost in some faraway place Peter couldn’t reach with words. So he decided to use more forceful methods.

With a strong grip around Wade’s wrist, he began to drag him towards the kitchen; but when the mercenary realized what was going on, he tried to resist, feet scratching the floor.

“It’s not necessary, Petey, really! I know you _can_ cook, let me go…”

“No!” was Peter’s reply. “I want you to _see_!”

He finally managed to brought him into the kitchen and opening his arms he showed the mercenary the warm tacos on the table, the ingredients inside the bowls, the colorful tablecloth.

“Here! Eat it! It’s _real_ , you moron!”

The boy took the biggest tacos on the plate and promptly stuffed it into Wade’s mouth, watching him munch and chew it with an expression so surprised and astonished he couldn’t help to laugh a little.

“See? _I_ made this food and this food is _real_! _I am_ real!” Peter said as if he was talking to a little child.

Wade was so shocked he couldn’t think of an answer and for the first time after years his voices, his ‘boxes’, finally disappeared, probably defeated by shame and especially _reality_.

The merc continued to eat, savoring the spicy and rich taste of the Mexican food. Then he licked his fingers, eyes never leaving Peter’s.

The boy smiled shyly and said: “Do you believe me now?”

Fearing Wade was still uncertain, he caressed his cheek and kissed him fondly, putting his arms around his neck. At first the merc remained perfectly still, but then he gave in and deepened the kiss, moaning.

“This is not an hallucination or a dream, stupid.” Peter whispered between little and soft kisses. “Don’t listen to voices and fears. I’m real and I want to stay with you…” he caressed again the other man’s cheek “…if you want to.”

Wade leaned in and touched his forehead with his own, eyes closed.

“…How could I say ‘no’ to a cute little Spidey like you?”

Peter shook with laughter and leaded his boyfriend into the living room, pushing him on the couch.

“And if you still aren’t sure…” the younger man took off his shirt, smirking. “…then I’ll will gladly remove any doubt.”

“Peter!”

The merc grabbed the boy’s wrists and gently pulled him on himself, the blue eyes lost into the brown ones.

“Tell me… tell me it’s not an hallucination.”

“It’s not an hallucination.”

“And that you will still be here when everything is done.”

“I’ll still be here. Promise.”

Wade lessened the grip around the wrists and Peter began to kiss his neck, making him moan. He traced the man’s chest with idle moves of his fingers and rocked his hips, feelings the hard arousal under his legs.

“This” Peter muttered tugging at the black and red spandex “needs to go off.”

“You’re the one with the super strength. Let me see what you got, Spidey.”

Peter’s sly grin aroused the merc even more.

Making sex ( _love!_ Peter’s tiny voice screamed again) with Wade was like going into a blazing fire: it created a warm and powerful feeling in the pit of the stomach, made the head dizzy and pleasantly confused, illuminated every particles of the body, boiled the blood. Every thrust set Peter on fire, every little touch made him breathless and again he found himself wondering how Wade Wilson could be so incredibly _alive_.

In the end, both still panting and cuddling on the small couch, the two men stared into the each other’s eyes and Peter saw fear and hope.

“Wade.” he called with a soft voice, touching his scarred face. “I’m here.”

The older man closed his eyes, sighed contentedly and pulled the boy to him, inhaling his scent.

They fell asleep shortly after and for the first time since he moved into Peter’s house Wade slept peacefully and comforted.

 

\- - -

 

The improvement finally occurred.

Now Wade touched Peter whenever he had the occasion. He was more relaxed, his smiles were totally sincere, his eyes free from any fear. His jokes became even more stupid and cheesier, like he was a shy teenager in love, and that idea made Peter feel cheerful and dizzy with happiness.

The mercenary also began to remind _everyone_ that he was dating Peter Parker, alias Spider-Man, something he never did before.

“Yes, Wade, I _know_ you are Parker’s boyfriend.” Logan growled after the third childish reminder

(“I hope this mission won’t be a pain in the ass, my Petey is waiting for me at home! Say, Logan, you know Petey is my boyfriend, right?”). “Everybody knows it since forever! What do ya want? A freakin’ medal?”

One day Wade’s doubts returned and surprisingly a particular Avenger eliminated them once and for all.

“Hey, Cap, can I ask you something?” Wade blurted out, approaching Steve with a big smile, but a tense posture.

“…Of course, son.”

The mercenary cleared his voice and said looking at everything but the man before him:

“You know I’m dating Spidey, right?”

Steve smiled and nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“Well… I never asked this before because I was too scared and the answer would have damaged me on a deep psychological level, but…”

“Wilson.”

“Right, I must focus, sorry! Well, the thing is… is it real? I mean, the whole relationship with Peter.

You can see it, can’t you?”

Cap gave him a funny look, but tried hard not to laugh. The mercenary seemed very tense and _scared_ and the hero thought he really needed a gentle and honest answer, not a dismissive and rude one as always.

“Yes, son, it’s true.” he reassured him and Wilson instantly sighed and huffed a laugh.

“Why did you ask me such a thing? You don’t believe it?”

“…I didn’t until some days ago. Peter helped me, but…”

“Well, forget all your doubts.” Steve smiled in return, suddenly moved by the other’s shyness.

“And don’t worry about them. That’s what love does, isn’t it? It makes you feel so happy and complete you can’t believe it.”

Wade was wearing his mask, but Steve could see his open mouth and wide eyes under it.

“Son? You okay?”

“Uh, yes, Cap. I… I should go now. You know, places to blow up, people to kill…”

He darted away before the hero could even reply back.

 

\- - -

 

Peter heard the door open and smiled. The dinner was ready and Wade wasn’t late: apparently his mission went well and he was glad they could enjoy themselves in peace for the rest of the evening.

“Wade!” he called happily entering in the living room. “I’m here.”

The mercenary, who stood in the center of the room, smiled and went closer to him, caressing his face and taking his hand.

“Yes.” he whispered softly. “Yes, you are.”

Peter’s smile grew even bigger when the man added gleefully: “Why don’t you give your aunt a ring?

I want to meet her!”

Peter’s only reply was a sweet kiss which Wade returned with all his might and tenderness, smiling through it, finally sure to be living not a dream, but a beautiful reality.

 


End file.
